Hhhhmmmm, fear and self-doubt, well that is a weird subject since I have been told that I am heartless and evidently I feel like I am also soulless, but others disagree, but then again when you have your own daughter say that you are heartless you begin to believe it, especially knowing the factor that the rest of the world let you down and those that would call themselves family. Let’s just say that I have realized that there is really no fear if you know and say the truth, but that does not mean that you will be loved and accepted. In my case I am always targeted for the things I did or said about what I experienced in the military. Some people that are associated with me or know me could also be targets, but I am not that sure about that! Self doubt well that in itself is something I sort of grew out of right away since I had to grow up right away, so I had to always be confident on everything I did.
Believe me once you find out that life is just like falling asleep and never waking up. When you find out that as well as being someone that was trying to unalive themselves since they were a teenager. Yes, since I was 14, but then I was sent to the hospital and put on 24 hours watch after that for the rest of the day and eventually would find out that my family is the reason I am there in the first place, so now after living through another suicide and getting worse as well as breaking my ankle. I now realize that the end is simple, either you will or you won’t feel anything, but then again when you have no fear especially from speaking the truth that is there about my family. I may have been the quiet one all these years, but I have been sitting by and collecting information on each and every person. Aside from showing the world people aren’t perfect, neither am I!
I am what they say would be a “Millennial”, but I am what they would refer to as an old soul. I was raised by “Baby Boomers” yes my parents are that old and are still well and kicking. I can say that over the years I have been through so much that it cannot compare to what these two thing are. Fear is not living my life to the fullest and not being myself, and self-doubt well that also follows if you can really add that together you would understand. Overall if you want to become better, you need to take that point and make it happen. Stop making excuses and just take some risks that could really help you and your life! Also I will try to write more, but I have some projects going and that is where I am if not here!
MisterJkr 
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