Mental Issues that have gone unchecked and the effects?

Well I have about 10 or more mental issues that I have to deal with from day to day. Yes, I said 10. However, I think I had mental issues before I went into the military, but back when I was growing up there was no reason that I should have been taken to Behavioral Health Services, here at GIMC. Back in the day parents did not really look at that part of a person, now if I was a biliganna I would probably have seen help like Donnie Darko. That could have accounted for the fact that Bipolar Disorder is hereditary, so one of my parents has given me this. The crazy thing is that I didn’t even meet with psychiatrists until I hit rock bottom in Korea and was rushed to the hospital, where they ended up putting me on suicide watch, 24 hours to be exact and I did not see anyone since 2002.

So now I would see my psychiatrist every Wednesday, so that was something I had to deal with. When I got discharged and decided to move to El Paso, Texas with my future husband, because being at home just made me depressed. However, with this new place I started living, unfortunately I had no mental health visits until I moved back here to Gallup in 2012, but my cutting and suicidal thoughts have always been there. I think I started seeing that I was being affected in 2014. This was a day that I could not take and really wanted to end it, but I had to literally deal with not having any mental health support during the entire time I lived in El Paso. So that means I had to deal with 12 years of my life not having psychiatric help in anyway. Of course later I would find it difficult to deal with my issues, because at some point I was contacted by an Army lawyer that was stating that she wanted me to testify. I will explain this more later, but this is what I have had to deal with.

All I can say is that I’ve had a rough life and if you knew the things I went through, you would probably feel bad. Or ask yourself, “how did she survive?” Well I have great patience and I can hold a grudge for life and then after. Plus I know that I am stronger than people think and I should be the last one anyone tries to fuck with, especially when nothing keeps me down. Now after all this time I have been dealing with my demons, but I can say that these days I am feelings better and motivated to do things I couldn’t before. Also you are not alone, I am here for whoever needs someone to listen to them or just reading the stories that I write here! My crazy could always cure someone from going crazier.