They say they care, but I know that isn’t true?

Family is supposed to be the one that is there for you, when you need help in many ways, but then find out the truth. “THAT YOU DO NOT MEAN SHIT!” I guess that is the main reason I do not get in touch with those that claim are my family. It seems like the ones that really matter in my family, especially to me are dead and gone. My second mother and father are gone. My brother Ernie is gone. I miss these people the most, because I knew and know that they loved me. It’s like I got stuck with all the selfish, stuck up, stingy, narcissistic people that are family, supposedly, but I know my place and that is alone, so if you related and not my mom or dad, please I do not want to speak to you. Nothing you have to say has any meaning to me, so just stay quiet and just deal!!! I state this because I have a sister named Bert, but one year I was ganged up on by her daughter’s that what I did to her was disrespectful and that I am as my niece put it “A DISGRACE TO THE FAMILY”. Now this is where I think wait, she’s my sister first before they’re mother, because she is considered the eldest. So, I guess I can’t even treat my siblings like siblings, so I have no need for them anymore. For I am the ONLY child, but after living my life has sucked in all aspects because I guess since I was younger I may have had some really traumatic experiences that no one knows, just myself, and my mom at the time. Plus what makes things worse is the fact that I have lived with mental illness my whole life, and those that are supposed to be there for me, but yet they just add to my anxiety and overall I mean I have tried to commit suicide more than once. Let’s just say if I was gone tomorrow the only ones concerned would be my parents, husband and daughter. Plus I wouldn’t want anyone else besides those mentioned at my final send off!