How bad can depression get?

I bet people just think that this is just getting sad here and there. Nope, that is not the reason depression happens. Anything could contribute to it from stress, being betrayed, broken promises, losing people, or realizing that there are no people I can trust. I guess you could say that I have had depression since I was a kid, but back in the 1980’s on up, our parents never looked into mental health for us, so a lot of people are either never diagnosed or misdiagnosed. Misdiagnosed is usually the way that it goes and can really hurt your chances of getting better. Growing up I was depressed a lot, but that was from my dad always beating on me. I grew up during the time that they said the best way to raise your kids was spank, whip, or smacking the shit out of you. I guess you can say that I learned to never have any emotions, depression is something I had to get used to, because that was all my parents were giving me. So I had my ways of coping, but more about that later. Overall, I was unaware that someone could actual go anemic because of being depressed. Yes, at one point I was told that I almost needed a blood transfusion since my blood count was down. This meant that my iron was low and so I was scheduled for receiving Iron infusions through an IV.

I had a couple sessions and when I was finished I felt like a million bucks, but then I just found out that my blood levels are dropping again and my doctor and I are confused at why this is happening. When my iron is low I feel really fatigued and I am wondering if I will get back to doing the things that need to be done around the house. Depression can also result in a person trying to unalive yourself. Which in my case I tried to off myself last year on my daughter’s birthday. I happened to have gone for a walk and greeted the day from the land, but I had my Army knife with me. I had already planned to slit my wrists, which I did and had to get 4 stitches. When I was walking home, a quarter mile away and bleeding from my wrists, I arrived at home and I almost passed out. My husband ended up calling 911, but for some reason that was cancelled, so my husband ended up driving me to the emergency room. I was then put on suicide watch for the remainder of the day. Later I went home, but after that I was just spiralling out of control, bad news after another. There are so many things that can cause depression and it can stay with you for years. I battle depression everyday, but if you suffer from depression as well, just know that you are not alone. This is the reason I am writing what I write, because I am tired of everyone else contributing to my disorder!